singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
