You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
