He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
