Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
