I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
