just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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