We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
