That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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