Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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