My nipple is on Facebook.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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