you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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