Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
