You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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