wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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