If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
