I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
