my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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