party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
