I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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