it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
