I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
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Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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