I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
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He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs