It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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