he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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