Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's rum buckets o'clock
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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