first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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