Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
