ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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