Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
