You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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