I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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