Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
