I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
