So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
