I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
