Small penises have feelings too.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
