i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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