Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
