Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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