ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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