ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
