Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
