he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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