hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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