They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
