Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
