i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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