went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
