There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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