i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Girls should come with a carfax report
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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