So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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