her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
