dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so explain again why im purple
no
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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