So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
