Cold hands, warm shart.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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