omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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