i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
