Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Damn victory sex feels great
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
