ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
