Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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