So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
